Joe Murray: Stories

11: Indy Cat?

I was enjoying my morning coffee, quietly sitting under the pergola; sunshine on me.
"I like that colour."
Startled, I looked down and there was Bibs sitting at my feet. "What colour?" I asked.
"That one on the flappy thing. It's the same colour as the sky," said Bibs. "I like it."
I looked at where she was staring. "Oh, the flag? Yes, it's sky blue… and white"
"Sky blue… aye that makes sense." She licked her paw and drew it across her face. Flag, eh, there's one of those in another garden a wee bit away. I don't like that one, "she said.
"Why not?" I asked, putting down my coffee cup.
"Och, it's no like this one here, that's like a big Kiss," she said, "that one has got lots of crosses on it – it looks like a square arsehole.".
"Really?" I looked at her, "I'm obviously not as familiar with arseholes as you are," said I.
"Well, she said, "I get to look at one many times a day."
"Oh, while cleaning yourself?"
She continued to look at me, then asked, "when's indy2, then?"
Don't really know for sure," I said.
"I thought you had yer finger on the pulse, Big Man?" She continued to stare.
"Unfortunately, not," I replied. "I only get a say when I am asked for my say - like everyone else."
"And, when asked, you will say YES, I hope?" Still staring.
I stared back at her wondering what her angle was on this. "Of course, I will say yes. Why are you so interested in Scottish independence?"
She let out a frustrated sigh, "I might be a cat, but I live here too, y'know!"
"Aye, but I am not sure why a cat wou…."
"Johnson's a FUD," she shouted, "Cummings is a FUD, Patel is a FUD, Gove is a FUD… they are all FUDs - every last one of them: tories, labour, lib dems." She was getting a wee bit agitated.
"Well, I wouldn't disagree." I picked up my cup and pondered,"you seem to know a bit about arseholes and fuds these days, Bibs," I said, a little too glibly.
Slightly calmer now, she gave me that look, "Well, I live next door to one."
"Oh, that'll be the guy on the other side of you, aye?" I said, chuckling.
She turned to walk away and said, "Naw, Big Man, no him."
"Ya cheeky wee…".
There it was again, that weird cat laugh. A sound to make a grown man shudder.
Och, and my coffee had become cold.


Articles/ Thoughts Poems COPYRIGHT © 2021 Dr Joe Murray		Bibs the Cat we’re all family, really a little feline philosophy excuse my french on the cludgie the baby a lesson in socialism sleeping with the enemy on the level a little black and white philosophy the magpie ultimatum Indy Cat? Who’s the Daddy? It's no about flags Video Stories Alasdair Gray & the Book of Prefaces Keekin Through Windaes The Two Heifers The Congo The Hotdog Other Stories Aye, right ennuf a natural balance a short tale of woe Maggie and the Little Pollok Carpet
	11: Indy Cat? I was enjoying my morning coffee, quietly sitting under the pergola; sunshine on me. "I like that colour." Startled, I looked down and there was Bibs sitting at my feet. "What colour?" I asked. "That one on the flappy thing. It's the same colour as the sky," said Bibs. "I like it." I looked at where she was staring. "Oh, the flag? Yes, it's sky blue… and white" "Sky blue… aye that makes sense." She licked her paw and drew it across her face. Flag, eh, there's one of those in another garden a wee bit away. I don't like that one, "she said. "Why not?" I asked, putting down my coffee cup. "Och, it's no like this one here, that's like a big Kiss," she said, "that one has got lots of crosses on it – it looks like a square arsehole.". "Really?" I looked at her, "I'm obviously not as familiar with arseholes as you are," said I. "Well, she said, "I get to look at one many times a day." "Oh, while cleaning yourself?" She continued to look at me, then asked, "when's indy2, then?" Don't really know for sure," I said. "I thought you had yer finger on the pulse, Big Man?" She continued to stare. "Unfortunately, not," I replied. "I only get a say when I am asked for my say - like everyone else." "And, when asked, you will say YES, I hope?" Still staring. I stared back at her wondering what her angle was on this. "Of course, I will say yes. Why are you so interested in Scottish independence?" She let out a frustrated sigh, "I might be a cat, but I live here too, y'know!" "Aye, but I am not sure why a cat wou…." "Johnson's a FUD," she shouted, "Cummings is a FUD, Patel is a FUD, Gove is a FUD… they are all FUDs - every last one of them: tories, labour, lib dems." She was getting a wee bit agitated. "Well, I wouldn't disagree." I picked up my cup and pondered,"you seem to know a bit about arseholes and fuds these days, Bibs," I said, a little too glibly. Slightly calmer now, she gave me that look, "Well, I live next door to one." "Oh, that'll be the guy on the other side of you, aye?" I said, chuckling. She turned to walk away and said, "Naw, Big Man, no him." "Ya cheeky wee…". There it was again, that weird cat laugh. A sound to make a grown man shudder. Och, and my coffee had become cold.